She flashed the lights in Morse code, he answered with a cigarette
Then a toothless woman smiled and handed her a chance
The bird answered back by saying,
Nothing at all
And she wondered what it meant, if anything, if everything.
See, the walls she built were made of stone
She stacked each one so she wouldn’t see
The Night
But then instead she blocked out the sun.
But those bricks were glass.
She covered them with drapes she wrapped around her waste
Clawing at her arms, craving for a taste
Of calm, that sweet, addictive moment when everything seems right,
When for just that time she didn’t fear
The Night.
So I run.
Curled up in a ball the drapes fall to the ground
And she cringes, digging through the floor
‘Cause the emptiness is staring,
The cameras are panning,
Zooming out and her brain is following
‘Till she’s not herself anymore but sees herself,
See’s her cringing on the floor
And she feels sick,
‘Cause she hates what she sees,
Another broken wing to add among the rest.
Is this some kind of fucking test?
Is it a game that we all draw lots to win?
The shorter straws get cut and thrown into the wind?
For the hands that don’t reach.
But her strength isn’t there anymore.
So I run.
She’s not there anymore, but she sees him,
Sees him lying there with Her,
Sees the sheets and the clothes and the echoes on the floor,
She’s the walls, she’s the air,
She feels his fingers in Her hair,
Hears the breath in Her ear and his arm on Her chest
But the cameras keep panning until they don’t exist.
She’s back, back on the stained tile floor
With the windows and the street
And the empty sound of no reply,
Fighting the need to light and get high
And the voices that say, ‘Who’d care if you die?’
So I run.
She curls up in a corner, hands clutching at her head
Hating the voice that’s wishing her dead,
Eating food from boxes and cans
And feels the walls and the familiar halls,
The godforsaken doors,
And it seems like it’s all she ever sees.
So she runs, runs through the hallways
Shrinking and slowing as they grow larger,
As they twist and turn and compress
Trapping her in the cage she didn’t want to be in but went willingly on repeat.
But now she can’t find the exit and the doorways are spinning,
She can’t hear her breathing
Can’t feel her heartbeat and wonders if she’s living
But crying and screaming she runs for the door
And jumps through the ceiling,
Shattering the floor.
She’s running through people and down one way streets,
Trying to catch up with the path that she’s on,
Kicking the heels of her own written fate,
Not letting her, feet, stop.
Until she crashes into her life
And flies.
theskywillfall 